I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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