I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
