So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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