the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
