READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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