i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Randomize
