I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i dont even know how to be here
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
