her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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