She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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