My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize