dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize