so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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