omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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