So drunk its hurt
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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