did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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