No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize