This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize