I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
