I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just invented taco cereal.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
