Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize