I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
