I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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