I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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