My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm at about main and main street
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
