We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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