My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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