was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
