He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
