So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
