After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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