i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
