Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
