Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Sorry my hands just texted you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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