My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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