I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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