Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
