I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
