6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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