the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
