You're completely useless in the revolution.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
