regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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