Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
too bad you live with your parents still
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
