dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
