After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
