What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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