Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
