i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
