No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
