It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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