babies were throwing up all over the place
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
