I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
