Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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