i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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