I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Houston, we have a squirter
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
