on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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