Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
