You made me cry and you don't even care
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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