it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
operation harelip BJ is a go
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
