I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
