Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You're my little dorito
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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