Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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