So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize