My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
where does the pee come out of this thing
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
