that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
