It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
