So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize