I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we made out on top of his cat.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
