Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
