So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
